Pabst Blue Ribbon Tears

This holiday season has been full of love and laughter, and an aching heart. The grind of holiday revelry and the intensity of the past four days of dealing with the suicide of a friend have caught up to me.

I've gone through the deaths of friends too many times to be considered normal, and my coping mechanism for death is fairly predictable. I tend to be pretty matter of fact about it. I know from experience that the sting, the confusion and the pain will pass. Unfortunately this acute awareness confuses the need for my heart to mourn in the meantime.

I haven't been able to cry about Trevor's death until today at the funeral. But today, before the start of the service the guitar dudes played some wistful beautiful song that triggered my waterworks and they lasted in a silent stream for over an hour.

Crying is exhausting, but necessary, and it feels good to have had that release.